The Horrors of Dentistry

After a couple of weeks of horrible, I-would-rather-get-stabbed face and mouth pain, I am finally back! I’m not 100% better, but I am five teeth lighter and feeling way better than I did before the extractions.

Apparently, my four wisdom teeth decided to be jerks and became EXTREMELY infected, along with one molar that wasn’t wise.

I’m not sure how many of you guys have experienced tooth pain/ache, but to me…I would rather an 18-wheeler roll over my foot about a dozen times. At least at some point I would go numb. Toothaches just linger on and on. They never go away and only get worse, causing all of your other teeth to hurt just as badly. The pain then radiates through your neck, face, ears, and brain.

You can’t think about anything else but the pain, and soon you are contemplating becoming your own dentist. The rusty, filthy pliers your husband uses to fix things comes to mind. You know exactly where they are, even though it’s been a few weeks since you stepped foot in that part of the garage.

You think long and hard about the consequences of what would happen if you went through with it. It would definitely be painful. And bloody. Not to mention, you aren’t even quite sure of what you are doing. But at this point of all the agony you have had to endure, anything would be better.

It’s Friday (because that’s always when the inconveniencing happens). The dentist won’t open till Monday. Can you handle it till then?

Thankfully, my dentist was opened on Saturday! I went in, had 3 teeth pulled, then just Monday had the other two wisdom teeth out.

I am sore and hurting as I type this, actually. I was given some good pain meds, but I am not one to take those unless I absolutely cannot deal. So I am just dealing.

This whole miserable ordeal had my mind a going, though.

Why aren’t there more books and horror movies about the dentist?

Think about it… The dentist is actually a pretty common fear and cause of anxiety for many people. The thought of having to sit in a chair to give up one of the most sensitive parts of your body to a stranger, essentially, is pretty unnerving. You are never guaranteed a painless visit.

If it’s just a teeth cleaning, they floss you so hard and rough that you end up wanting to punch the hygienist in the face. If you are getting work done on a cavity or something similar, you have to sit through needles in her gums, and then waiting to see if the Novocaine even worked! “If you still feel pain, let me know and I will numb you up some more”.

Um…NO! Numb me up enough so I don’t feel pain in the first place! Period.

Even simple x-rays make you want to say screw it and walk straight out of there. Those stupid blocks with the pointy edges are shoved into every place they shouldn’t, poking you in the gums and insides of your cheeks and making you want to gag.

The dentist sucks…and it’s the perfect setting or environment for a horror movie or book.

I have never read a book about a mad dentist, but I do remember a movie called The Dentist from the 90s that did exactly what I am suggesting. This dentist did all the things we feared by pulling and poking and drilling the most sensitive of areas. He tortured the heck out of his victims.

I recall watching that movie through my fingers for about half of it. Just like in The Human Centipede 2, when the psycho decides to pull teeth out of his victim’s mouths. I couldn’t bear to watch. Even the sounds were making me cringe.

The point is I don’t care how manly you are or how fearless you may be. When it comes to your mouth or the teeth in your mouth, everyone has some kind of underlying anxiety about it.  And if you are trying to achieve maximum horror or fear by writing a book and making a movie, I believe anything dental-related might just do the trick.

Have any favorite horrifyingly disturbing dental-related moments from a book or movie? Please share!

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